Comic Book Review: Uncanny X-Men #496

Last issue of Uncanny X-Men laid the foundation for the new direction for this title in the wake of the Messiah Complex. It was not anything spectacular, but it certainly was a solid issue that kicked off what should be an entertaining story arc. I’m sure that Brubaker has another reliable read in store for us with Uncanny X-Men #496. Let’s do this review.

Creative Team
Writer: Ed Brubaker
Art: Michael Choi

Art Rating: 9 Night Girls out of 10
Story Rating: 7 Night Girls out of 10
Overall Rating: 8 Night Girls out of 10

Synopsis: We begin with Angel joining the other dirty hippies, as Eric Cartman would say, in their little mind trip that is going on in San Francisco. We see Hepzibah, already under the influence of the strange time warp, hanging out and dancing with some hippies. One of the hippies talk about how awesome the goddess is and how great things have become since they have joined her dream. The hippie then enters a brownstone and knocks on a door to one of the rooms. The goddess tells the hippie to enter.

We cut to Colossus, Wolverine and Nightcrawler in a graveyard. Colossus pays his respects to his parents’ grave. The three men then head over to a nearby bar. The two men start drinking as Colossus gets all depressed about his departed family and all the various traumatic events that he has endured as an X-Man. Particularly fresh on his mind is his loss of Kitty Pryde. Wolverine tells Colossus that he shouldn’t keep his emotions bottled up and that he should talk to them about Kitty. Wolverine then orders more drinks.

We cut to Cyclops and Emma flying on their way to San Francisco. Emma says that she can’t pick up the thoughts of either Angel or Hepzibah. They land in San Francisco in a park where a giant Sentinel is standing. Emma says that the Sentinel is sleeping here until the end of the world.

Emma tells Scott that she can’t tell if the person behind the time warp is actively causing this anomaly. Emma says that it seem more like an acid flashback by the person. A couple of hippies approach Cyclops and Emma. Cyclops reacts in a fashion that would make Cartman proud as he orders the hippies to not touch them.

We shift back to the bar in Russia where a bunch of gangster walk in and demand money from the bartender. Wolverine whips out his claws and tells the gangster that you don’t threaten the bartender. Colossus, Nightcrawler and Wolverine proceed to kick ass on the gangsters. Wolverine then gives the bartender some money to cover the damages. Wolverine then tells the bartender to not tell anyone that the three mutants where here. As the three X-Men exit the bar, we see one of the locals staring at them.

We cut to Moscow where the Prime Minister is being alerted about the presence of the three X-Men. The Prime Minister smiles that it has been too long since the red room had mutants to play with. End of issue.

Comments
The Good: Uncanny X-Men #496 was a solid read. Brubaker moves this issue along at a nice pace utilizing an enjoyably steady flow. This issue offers a good balance of action, drama and suspense. Brubaker does his best to make this issue appeal to fans that enjoy action as well as fans who crave strong character work.

Brubaker crafts some fine dialogue. I have been impressed with Brubaker’s handling of the personalities of the various X-Men. Brubaker has clearly grown more comfortable with the characters in this title and is beginning to tap into that Chris Claremont vibe with this current story arc. I found the dialogue between Wolverine, Nightcrawler and Colossus to be particularly well done. Brubaker generates some excellent old school chemistry between these three longtime friends.

The scenes with our three mutants in Russia are what made Uncanny X-Men #496 such a treat to read. This plotline dominated my interest and carried this issue. The interplay between the three unique characters really highlighted their differences as well as displaying their unique friendship with each other.

I liked how Wolverine gives a little tough love to Colossus about his past life in Russia, but then shows some tenderness by being willing to talk about Kitty for as long as Peter wants to. I also enjoyed Wolverine’s heartfelt speech about what it means to be an X-Men and what trials and tribulations one has to suffer when chasing Professor X’s elusive dream. Wolverine is a character that too often gets written more as a stereotype than an actual person. It is nice for Brubaker to show a more varied texture to Wolverine’s personality in this issue.

I will admit that I am curious about the identity of the goddess who is causing the collective acid flashback over in San Francisco. I’m still not that totally sold on this plotline, but I have faith in Brubaker to deliver an unexpected wrinkle that will spice up things up a bit.

Brubaker ends Uncanny X-Men #496 with a quality hook ending. I look forward to seeing the Russian army attempt to capture our three heroes and toss them in the Red Room for “testing” and “experimenting.” This should serve the basis for a nice action based story.

Michael Choi cranks out some gorgeous artwork. I am a complete fan of his style of art. Choi creates such a wonderfully textured, rich and deep comic book that enables the reader to easily get themselves lost in the story.

The Bad: Obviously, the biggest disappointment with Uncanny X-Men #496 was the fact that it totally spoils the supposedly dramatic ending of Whedon’s story over on Astonishing X-Men. We learn that the X-Men have “lost” Kitty Pryde. We see Colossus mourning over the loss of his Kitty. Now, Brubaker never comes directly out and says that Kitty is dead, but who cares. “Lost” or “dead” doesn’t really matter. After all, nobody ever stays dead on an X-title.

The point is that the big ending over on Whedon’s Astonishing X-Men is completely ruined because Whedon has been unable to maintain the shipping schedule for Giant Sized Astonishing X-Men #1. It was originally set to ship on February 27, 2008. Marvel.com now has the shipping date for April 8, 2008.

Of course, this all should be no surprise since Whedon’s run on Astonishing X-Men has been rife with shipping delays. This is pathetic and unprofessional. I don’t care if the writer is a Hollywood hot shot or not. If you sign a contract to write a comic book then I expect a professional effort and an honest commitment to meet the expected shipping schedule for that title.

Since it isn’t Brubaker’s fault that Kitty’s “death” got spoiled in this issue, I didn’t deduct any points from Uncanny X-Men #496. The point deduction for this spoiling will go where it is properly deserved and that will be whenever I review Giant Sized Astonishing X-Men #1.

The San Francisco plotline is plagued by a terrible slow pace. Pretty much nothing has happened at all with this plotline over the course of the past two issues. And at this point, this plotline is quickly beginning to feel like nothing but pure filler. My interest is rapidly waning in the plotline. Brubaker needs to pick up the pace and devote some time in fleshing out this plotline more in the next issue.

And I have just one question. What is going on with the Celestial sleeping in San Francisco? Is this alluding to some other storyline going on in another title that I don’t read?

Overall: Uncanny X-Men #496 was a dependable read. However, it is a bit of a slow read and, therefore, might not appeal to readers who aren’t big X-Men fans. Brubaker is clearly taking his time with this story arc. Obviously, Brubaker is slowing things down and catching his breath as he sorts through the wreckage of the Messiah Complex. I don’t mind a filler story arc right after a large event. However, after the next issue, I fully expect Brubaker to clearly outline the future of this title post Messiah Complex and get moving.

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